I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They took my balls.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
