We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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