69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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