Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
