Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
