her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
