D3 body, D1 cock
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
