How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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