I just made out with a guy for $7.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
