Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
