Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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