I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
