I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
