where am i from again
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is Oprah even human
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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