That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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