quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
