Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize