Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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