my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
