It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
