Just fell off a train. Bad.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize