nut hugger
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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