Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
