I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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