I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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