first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize