yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
