I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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