You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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