i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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