Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
