How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
