he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
