I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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