I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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