i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
