would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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