i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
