All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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