i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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