God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
