I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
