Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize