another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
