Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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