If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
