Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there was a trapeze. enough said
i will never coherently bang her
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
