So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
