I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up under a house in Key West
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
