Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize