He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
