I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
