I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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