you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize