He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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