wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
