Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
