so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
