I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
