youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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