so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
