I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
