i permit you to call me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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