I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
