We're like a lot better than the average bears
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize