You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
